All about me. (Narcisistic as fuck)

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North berwick, Scotland, United Kingdom
I fucking love sleep. I don't get much of it though.

Monday, 22 July 2013

Back to where we started.

Seems like I'm always saying how long it's been since I've been here last, but honestly it's been a good while. The last time I updated this blog was in 2012. Yeah, I know right? So I'll post the highlights of this year so far (even though I did that for last year, but fuck off, it's effective all-right?)


  • Continued my course at college and actually passed it and only failed one unit (that I didn't need anyway)
  • Continued my shitty job up until 3 weeks into July, as of 21/07/13 I am again, unemployed
  • Bought way to many fucking toys to count with the money from my job, more importantly I bought a good bike that has served me well as an excellent mode of transportation
  • Got into gunpla, it's such a big thing that it's separate from toys at this point in my mind
  • Tried some shit with the fairer sex. Didn't work out
  • Got more drunk and high than I had been ever before 
With that out of the way good fucking god I have no idea of what I'm going to do now. I'm confirmed to return to college in august and honestly that seems like the best bet at this point. I got fired from my NOT CONTRACTED job after almost a year and I'm feeling like shit right now. I can't express how fucking much I don't want to stay this way. This is exactly how I felt when I left high-school, no prospects, no future and afraid of being left behind by my peers. Jesus fuck I wish I had some actual fucking usable skills rather than being a fucking embodiment of half-assery and being shit at fucking everything that would get me anywhere (OH BOY I HAVE AN UNPARALLELED KNOWLEDGE OF VIDEOGAMES, THAT'll GET ME LAID OR FUCKING EMPLOYED!)

Then again I'm not about to adopt a sudden mentality of positive thinking. Honestly it kinda pisses me off seeing people who do nothing but think positive all the time and press that kind of thinking on others. However I'm not a total pessimist, because I believe thinking like that will get you nowhere. So I guess I'll apply for a job at tesco at some point.

But let me tell you, this summer has truly been something else when it comes to the social aspect of my life. Ever since I finished HS I've just been so active when it comes to hanging out with people and reconnecting with old and dear friends. Oh sure I made new ones at college but I've come to realize that the people around me, who live in my local area are the ones I care deeply for, and feel kinda bad for them and myself for neglecting for so long (i.e all of high-school) and now I'm scared of loosing them when the summer is over; and I've not felt something like that for a very long time.

I feel like an NPC in my own life.   

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